The Day care lady

Along for the ride

2007-04-12T12:54:00.000-07:00

This is a contest that I WANT to win.

I SO deserve this. Really, I do.

http://www.alongfortheride.biz/Searc...t=49&Click=258

It's called an Ergo, and I NEEEED it!

It's "Teething season" again...

2006-10-10T13:08:00.000-07:00

It's time to go to the drug store and stock up on Childrens Motrin, Tylenol, and decongestant. Becaue as happens every fall, it is "Teething" season.

It doesn't matter how old the child is, if he has a fever, diarrhea, or ABSOLUTELY ANY signs of illness whatsoever... "He is teething". As we speak, bottomless pit is sleeping in another room, because he is "Teething" with a 102 temp.

I should also buy some adult fever reducers and decongestion, as my husband and I tend to catch a few bouts of "teething" ourselves.

I am a year older...

2006-10-05T12:48:00.000-07:00

I can't even bring myself to say a year older than what. But, suffice it to say, I am not getting younger.

I have gained 15 pounds in two years. My knees are getting sore. I can no longer squat to tie a shoe, or help with pants.

It sucks to get old. Before long, I will be buying those orthopedic shoes with velcro from K-Mart.

HAPPY FAG DAY!

2006-09-11T21:31:00.000-07:00

"Happy Fag day"
Today was (as you all know) the five year anniversary of 9-11.But, since not one of my kids was even born five years ago, this is a concept that they just cannot understand.

SO, today the kids (who's parents are all teachers) wore Flag t-shirts from Old Navy. This just sorta happened. No memo was sent out.

I had planned to have the kids color a flag, and do a red white and blue collage. So, today was dubbed "Flag day".

Only... apparently, the average 1-3 year old has not mastered the "L" sound. SO, they just leave it out entirely.

Which leave us with "Fag day!" So, Happy fag day to you all.

I just love to watch a man work.

2006-09-09T19:15:00.000-07:00

He is painting the cabin. (I was admiring him from behind)

It really needed a good coat of paint. When I suggested we paint it a color, he looked at me like I had pigs flying out of my butt. Apparently WHITE is a color.

I made a grocery list!!!

2006-09-09T19:10:00.000-07:00

Too bad I forgot to shop for the groceries.

I am out of milk, eggs and bread. Pretty much all the basic items. SO, to the children's delight THIS is lunch. A fish stick, a Pilsbury cinnamon roll, and a banana. Of couse there are seconds on all of this except the cinnamon roll.

Three year old was overheard saying "Kim is a good Cook"

Sippy cups!

2006-08-08T07:51:00.000-07:00

I think I am keeping the "Take n Toss" company in business.

And, so it begins.....

2006-08-07T10:03:00.000-07:00

This is the end of our summer vacaton. It is not the end of summer.... In Phoenix, summer lasts til Halloween.

But, summer is officially over. We had our last Water world trip last week. The big kids are going back to school, the little kids are coming back to me. I am so excited! I miss those little guys! I didn't miss all their crap though... I have been digging the crap out all weekend. I have three high chairs, three pack n plays, DOZENS of sippy cups and lids... It is an endless supply of crap.

The grade schoolers have worn out their welcome. The older a kid gets, the less enjoyable they are. I love each one of them, but I am glad they will be back in school this time next week.

I am so proud!!

2006-08-04T07:55:00.000-07:00

This nutball is my daycare boy! He has been the most amusing kid I have ever had.

Presenting Colton's audition for "So you think you can dance"

Now tell me you wouldn't have wanted to party with this kid!

"The Generous wife"..

2006-08-02T08:40:00.000-07:00

I joined a site called "The gererous wife". I thought "Well? It can't hurt".... We get daily advice in our emails.

Here is today's advice....

Wednesday August 2, 2006

Now, don't take this personally, ladies. ;) Make a habit of regularly brushing your teeth and keep some mints or flavored candies by the bed or in your purse. A fresh, sweet kiss is a wonderful invitation. ... the fragrance of your breath [is] like apples, and your mouth like the best wine! Song of Songs 7:8b-9 NAS
Think generous! Lori <><

(in my best greys anatomy voice) Seriously?????

Yes, another contest...

2006-07-22T00:32:00.000-07:00

But, I wanna win..

http://www.alongfortheride.biz/pages/PlayGamesWinPrizes.php

I shouldn't have enjoyed this.....

2006-05-11T10:30:00.000-07:00

But, it kinda warmed my evil heart.

Last night, I went to ex day care boy's final Basketball game. It was kind of a play off of sorts. Basketball has actually been over for a while, but there was some reason for this game, and He really wanted us to go.

We went up in the stands. There were at least 100 people there. But, ONE small child was SOOOO obnoxious that no one could take their eyes off of him. He was at least six years old. He would NOT sit in the stands with his parents (who thought he was adorable..he was NOT adorable)

He insisted on standing under the basket at one end. He jumped, spun, twisted and yelled. The coach asked him to sit in the stands, the other coach asked him to sit in the stands. The parents tried to cajole him into sitting with them. A teacher TOLD him, using her teacher voice to MOVE away from there.

He "chose" not to sit in the stands. Instead, he just kept his spot below the basket.

On one of this child's many trips to see Mom and Dad (who were sitting behind us) I listened to him. He was very intellegent and articulate. So, this was not an issue of him not understanding. He had two missing teeth , so I guessed him to be about six-ish. The parents kept thinking he was so cute, and maybe they should sign him up for Basketball, since he seemed interested in it.

Finally Dad decided to stand near him under the basket. The coach asked him to sit in the stands, and please take his son. The boy again refused. Dad returned alone.

Dad no sooner sat down, when the coach's son decided try and beat the buzzer. He threw the ball from almost halfway across the court.

It missed the basket.....But it hit this kid square in the back with a loud "OOF" that could be heard throughout the entire gym. He was knocked hard to the wood floor with a slapping and squeaking sound as his little body slid across the shiny wood.

The ENTIRE gymnasium first gasped, then the giggling started, then the loud raucus laughter. Soon ALL of the jr high students and a few of the parents were actually clapping.I giggled..I tried to make sympathetic noises...but, I was truly pleased. The coach....instead of picking the kid up, turned to the parents, opened both arms wide, and looked at them like. "DUH!"

LOLThe boy is fine. Hopefully he learned a lesson.

Sometimes, I love karma.
__________________

Sick again???

2006-05-11T08:22:00.000-07:00

I can't wait for school to end.

The teenager is sick again. She has missed three of seven days of school. What do seventh graders do? Share a cup? Do they just pass one big cup around and take a drink? I am SO tired of calling the school and leaving a message that she will once again, miss school.

I would worry more about her grades, but this school district is a JOKE. Last week, she had a project due. She was asking me if I knew where her old social studies book was. I asked her "Shouldn't it be at your OLD school?" "Um, no, I forgot to turn it in...So, you don't know where it is then?" "no".

I looked at her project, and understood WHY she wanted that book. It is the exact same project she did TWO YEARS AGO in fifth grade. So, since she had a big trip planned with the band for the following day, I said "I think I still have that project in my computer."

She printed the fifth grade project, turned it in, and got an A!! This is funny, because when she turned it in to her fifth grade teacher, she only got a B.

They think she is a genius.

My child's school....

2006-05-10T19:07:00.000-07:00

Today, after becoming lost in the internet. I ran across a blog in which the blog owner was angry at her child's school. It seems the Principal felt the Mom should stop in the middle of the crosswalk and let her daughter walk in to school alone. Apparently this principal did not want the Mother to see the inside workings of a public school. However, the principal not only knew the Mother's name, she also knew the child's name.

This would NEVER happen in our school. I was going to complain about my child's principal, when I suddenly realized....

I have no idea who my child's principal is! Seriously. I don't even know if it is a man or a woman. How sick is that? What kind of Mother have I become? I know the secretary, I know the math teacher, but not the principal.

In all fairness to me, this is a new school to us. We moved, and this is our first year here. Not that this is an acceptable excuse.....but, it is all I have.

I am going to call that school tomorrow. (using someone elses cell phone) and ask them!

The internet is for...

2006-03-29T12:09:00.000-07:00

The internet is for Porn

I am SO easily amused.

Woody in Laughlin!!!

2006-03-26T16:33:00.000-07:00

How to irritate me...

2006-03-06T10:56:00.000-07:00

Day care Mom drops of her sweet and wonderful daughter. Mom tells me "I put her shoes on your counter...If you go out, just put them on her"

What she failed to mention is that they are unlaced. The laces are just sitting in her shoes. Now why does she think that I have the time to put shoes on six kids AND lace the shoes too? If she doesn't have time to do that, where does she think I have the time?

She went out in her bare feet.

People amaze me....

2006-03-05T20:09:00.000-07:00

I needed a baby shower gift yesterday. The baby shower was in a few hours, and I hadn't even given any thought....so off to Target I go.

When I got to the Target end of the parking lot, I see no parking spaces. I am not picky, I always park in the back. I am not one of those people who will drive up and down the isles waiting for someone to vacate the very front parking space. I just park. But this particular Saturday, there were a lot of "special" cars. These cars were so special, they actually needed several spaces all to themselves. The owners had parked their cars sideways, on a Saturday morning in a crowded parking lot. Sideways. As in taking up three spaces.

Soooo......

I got out my little peice of paper, and a pencil. And I wrote...

"I am sorry about your truck, I was trying to squeeze into the space next to you, but your vehicle seemed to be in that spot also, so I might have scratched it a little, again, I apologize."

I signed it "Dean" and left the number of a guy I was dating before I met my husband.

I did my shopping, (some VERY cute baby clothes and a stuffed doggie) and was leaving Target, when I noticed the driver of the car that got my little note. He and his passenger were going over every inch of his precious red truck. I hope they were out there for 30 minutes trying to find the scratches.

I bet he didn't even sleep well last night. Now when he does find a scratch, he will blame "Dean".

I love my computer

2006-03-02T11:59:00.000-07:00

CHEESE....

2006-03-02T11:47:00.000-07:00

Cheese should melt. Always.

When you put a peice of cheese between two peices of butter bread, then cook it for five or so minutes....the cheese should be melted. Cheese should not come out of the pan warm, but in it's original shape. It should melt.

That's all I'm sayin.

I will always be in the back row.....

2006-02-22T09:46:00.000-07:00

In the 80s I tried several Aerobics classes. I was always intimidated by the mirrors and the other women. I ALWAYS went immediately to the back row. Eventually, I would drop out completely. I found my comfort zone with the weight machines. I cannot handle the ecliptical machines, because I get bored after five minutes. With the exception of the time American idol was on at the Gym.

So, now, I use videos to keep....er GET in shape.

I received my Beach Body Turbo Jam DVDs on Monday. I put them on my shelf, to wait for me to open and read the little books that come with it.

On Tuesday, I peeled the plastic off the case, and put the CD in. I pushed PLAY.

I know that I am not a graceful person.....and that I have the attention span of a four year old without his meds. So, Knowing, that I am easily distracted, I skipped the introduction, where we learn the moves. After three minutes of that, I pushed MENU. I went back to the introduction. Because clearly, I needed to be introduced to the moves.

After 30 minutes, I was finally done with the "learn" portion. But, I wasn't sore or even tired. This was probably due to the fact that I am an OAF, and must have looked like an idiot trying to keep up. I am sooooo glad there are no mirrors in my living room. If I had to watch myself at this, I would never get it done.

I am a back row kind of girl.

Hiking

2006-02-20T18:37:00.000-07:00

I am on a new quest to lose ten pounds by March 20th. I have purchased a new Beach Body video, which arrived TODAY! Thankyouverymuch. I intend to start that tomorrow, when the kids are napping.

I have also been hiking Thunderbird Mountain lately. One side of the Mountain is an easy hike, the other side kicks my ass. When I am with Barb (God bless her) we do the easy side. When I am alone, for some unkown reason, I feel compelled to hike the hard side. Both trails take about an hour.

Thunderbird mountain is usally very pretty this time of year, but it hasn't rained in Arizona for over 130 days. So, this is what we get. Boring huh?

Chilcare Professional.....

2006-02-03T07:18:00.000-07:00

I was checking some of my favorite blogs this morning. I only have Pacifier boy this early, and had a little time to kill.

As I am looking at Stew's blog, not only does he have a large photo of a half dressed woman (all the men have left to go see Stew's blog) He was making fun of Childcare professionals!

O.K, actually, what he was saying, is, if you do not have a high school education, you should not become a Chilcare professional. I suppose I agree...however, I think everybody should have at LEAST a high school education. I mean, The education is free! My best friends were at school....why would I NOT go to school? What would I have done instead of going to school? WORKED? I think not!

All i need is an engine, and I'm set.

2006-01-30T13:15:00.000-07:00

Well, maybe a better paint job.

This is my new toy! It actually runs very well, but I would love to have a bigger engine. A loud one! I want to blow the pants off the neighbor who says "Hey, follow me" and then leaves me in the dust. Oh, sure, he comes back...looking bewildered and wondering where I went.

Jerk!

I wonder what this means????

2006-01-07T19:47:00.000-07:00

It is Saturday night. I am all alone in my house. ALL ALONE! No kids. No husband. Not so much as a dog!

I am listening to 70s Saturday night on 99.9 and there is a Barry Manilow song playing. I just, this minute discovered I LOVE BARRY MANILOW! What's up with that? I'm 42 and I am willing to admit, I love Barry Manilow. Does this make me old?

I have a sudden urge to Google all the lyrics to every Barry Manilow song ever written.

Geez, if this guy starts crying........

2006-01-07T10:03:00.000-07:00

For some reason, I hate it when men get all mushy. I stumbled across this guy's blog recently. He is certainly a sensitive little thing. At least he seems to like Basketball.

Or, I could use my thumbs...

2005-12-21T12:07:00.000-07:00

How can anybody peel an orange without one of these things? I have two....they were FREE from Tupperware. All I had to do was show up to a tupperware party. I bought NOTHING, but came home with two orange peelers. For free!

Santa IS real!

2005-12-16T08:51:00.000-07:00

It was my last hope. I was nine. I knew Santa wasn't real..

But, one night, while watching "The Partridge family" they broke in for a news bulletin. Radar had picked up a blip in the sky, near New York. They didn't know what it was yet, but they would keep us posted.

On the next commercial break, the radar could tell it was a large object being pulled by eight smaller objects! OMG!! My Mom was wrong! Santa was real! Adults were clearly stupid, or jaded. Even the news anchor didn't know what these flying objects were! Dear God, did I need to call the station and tell them?

That was also the year I got a Baby Tender Love! So there! Who else would know that I wanted a Baby Tender Love??? HUH? Santa! That's who!

Just one year ago.......

2005-12-13T13:06:00.000-07:00

I belong to a wonderful internet community, that means the world to me. I consider each member to be my friend.

Last year, we were all waiting impatiently for word on a special adoption. Our dear freind Karen and her husband Tom were planning a trip to China to bring their daughter home. It seemed like it would never happen. Every delay, every bump in the road kept getting in the way.

But, finally, at Christmas.....Tom and Karen went to pick up their beautiful daughter Katie.

Here is a slideshow made by one of our members. CLICK HERE!

Solicitors (of the door to door type)

2005-12-12T17:09:00.000-07:00

We have recently been infested with door to door solicitors.
I understand why. It's 75 degrees in Phoenix, so winter is the perfect time to be trolling the neighborhoods. But, I have had four such solicitors in two weeks.

Doorbell rings...I stupidly open the door.

Solicitor, holding small black pamphlet: *Speaks very fast* "Howdy Maam, My name's Darius and I'm with (mutters something) and we are an organiziation designed to keep young men, such as myself off the streets".

(O.K, but this "young man" is in his late 20s)

"You are looking very nice this afternoon, are you the lady of the house?"

(This right here pisses me off, cuz I look like Hell, I haven't brushed my hair since 6:30 this morning, and I am wearing a men's long sleeved T-shirt with baby spit up on my shoulder)

Me: (struggling to interrupt this man) "Um, I am sorry, I have plenty of magazines, and Being Christmas, I don't really have extra money"

Solicitor: "Yes Maam, I know it's hard this time of year, but I am trying to make a living just as you are, and your neighbors were all happy to help me out by ordering several magazines, your neighbor Hillary ordred five"

(I know of No one by the name Hillary in my neighborhood)

Solicitor: "Now maam, you know yall don't want to be the only folks to tell Ol Darius no do you?

Me: "Yes, Actually I do, and when I talk to Hillary, I will tell her to loan me her magazines when she;s done with them.

_______________________________________________________

I hate solicitors!

WOODY!!

2005-11-29T14:14:00.000-07:00

He's all dressed up for winter, and doing a little window shopping!

Happy Thanksgiving all!

2005-11-21T19:43:00.000-07:00

I hope everyone has a safe and wonderful ThanksGiving!

Halloween 1966

2005-11-10T12:47:00.000-07:00

This is Halloween when I was three. Back when being politically incorrect was popular.

My brother is a homeless person. (Hobo in 1966) My cousin is a native American. (indian in 1966) And I am a short, obese African American woman, with large breasts. (Aunt Jemima in 1966)

Those Boobs were heavy BTW.

Not an actual conversation (Or how to raise a wimp)

2005-10-27T15:45:00.000-07:00

Day care mom: "Oh, my Goodness, this pacifier has a big hole in it! When did this happen?"

Me: I don't know, I only noticed it before lunch today, when I pried it from his mouth so he could eat his lunch"

Day Care Mom: "Well, I'm very concerned....what if he had swallowed it and you never noticed?....Do you think it could be stuck in his intestinal track?"

Me: "I seriously doubt it....Have you gone off your medication?"

Day care Mom: "I really wish you would have noticed when he bit this off, I think I should take him to the doctor"

Me: "Well, YOU sent him to daycare with a two year old pacifier attached to his shirt with a STRING, and you expect ME to notice when the stupid thing finally falls apart in his MOUTH? Besides that, if that is the worst thing he swallows in his lifetime, you should be very thankful....The damn peice is smaller than cheerio...I think he will live"

How it really went:

Day care mom: "Oh, my Goodness, this pacifier has a big hole in it! When did this happen?"

Me: I don't know, I only noticed it before lunch today"

Day Care Mom: "Well, I'm very concerned....what if he had swallowed it and you never noticed?....Do you think it could be stuck in his intestinal track?"

Me: It's a very small peice...I am sure he will be O.K. That pacifier is very old, I'm sure he was just biting small peices off."

Day care Mom: "Maybe I should take him to the doctor"

Me: "You might want to call them first...just to see if they are concerned"

Parents amaze me. This child is THREE years old. And he wears a pacifier attached to his shirt every day.

Who wouldn't like this job???

2005-10-20T10:30:00.000-07:00

Today is kinda dull. But, fortunatley I am easily amused. My two year old day care boy discoverd how to make spit bubbles. I am very impressed!! With little more than saliva and a simple "MMWWAAA" sound, he can make big sloppy bubbles.

My hero!

Pure as the driven snow.....

2005-10-18T21:57:00.000-07:00

Once, I was as pure and innocent as they come. I still would be if I hadn't met Shelly. Shelly was that one friend that seemed to drag trouble along with her where ever she went. I could be sitting at the lunch table eating my chicken taco, when shelly would sit down, and trouble would sit right next to us.

I am sure that if I hadn't met Shelly, I would be married to the church choir director, with four kids and making home made pies for the ladies group. I might even be domestic!!! (Stop laughing!)

But, during my formative years, when I should have been studying the bible or reflecting on the path of my life.....I was with Shelly. In a black Dodge Ramcharger, at Molly's nipple listening to "Take It On The Run" by REO Speedwagon.

Shelly led me astray. The little tramp!

Umm...Because she's special????

2005-10-18T09:22:00.000-07:00

My husband and I have three dogs between us. His are two big goofy labs. Mine is a larger than she thinks Cattle dog. She has the impression that she is privilaged in ways that the other dogs are not. Of course my daughter and I have done nothing to change her princess-like attitude.

So, she poops on the sidewalk. I truly have no idea why she doesn't go in the grass. Perhaps the grass tickles her hiney....idunno. But, she prefers the smooth sidewalk. Of course it's never in an out of the way spot..it's always a spot that needs to be removed immediatley.

Which Peanuts Character are you?

2005-10-14T07:43:00.000-07:00

You are Schroeder!

Which Peanuts Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Stephen...

2005-10-13T22:42:00.000-07:00

Stephen is the newest object of my daughter's affection. I have been hearing almost NOTHING but Stephen since August. He actually sounds like a nice kid.

Well, tonight, after I picked her up from dance, we ran into Target for a "Few" things to take to the cabin this weekend. I also needed her to help me find a gift for Riley's long past birthday.

As we were leaving the toy section with a rubber frog (bet that was impressive) Who should waltz by, but STEPHEN!!! OMG, I thought my daughter was going to pass out. I mean, this kid was like any other 12 year old. He was skinny, blonde, and wore his hat backwards. He is kinda cute though! In a freckly way.

Being the cool studley sort, he was by himself in the store. Well, as she was trying to calm her nerves, we were discussing her next strategy. I turned down the wine isle (did you know Target carries wine?? They DO!) Anyway....this kid was standing in the wine isle, trying to look like he needed wine. LOL Clearly, he was stalking my daughter as much as we were stalking him.

We saw him MANY MANY times, but the two kids just kept "missing" each other. Finally, I decided to help her. When I saw him, I pointed to the isle where he was, and she ran down there. Finally, they met up in the toothpaste isle....both pretending to be interested in tooth paste.

I now have a brand new tube of Colgate vanilla/mint toothpaste in my bathroom. And my daughter has something to dream about tonight.

My new camera!!!

2005-10-11T09:15:00.000-07:00

I bought a new camera last night. I am so jazzed. It's a Canon PowershotA520. I still need to learn how to use it, but here is are a few pictures I have taken so far. I have taken a million pictures of the kids, but can't post them, so here is a humanless photo of my kitchen.

Here is one of the day care room. The only reason the day care room is still clean is because the weather is so nice, the kids are outside. By 10:00 a.m, it will be trashed.

Why I need to lose weight....

2005-10-10T08:51:00.000-07:00

Last night, I slipped comfortably into a large tub of warm Water. I was just getting stretched out, when I noticed, I couldn't move. I was stuck....stuck to the tub! The fat between my ass and my lower back had created a suction cup and was now securing me to the back of the tub. I was in a fiberglass prison.

I finally decided, I must somehow break the suction. I pulled, and wiggled. Finally I used my hand to break the suction. The souind it made reminded me of the ship finally going under water at the end of Titanic.

I am SO eating salad all week!

I'm homesick...

2005-10-06T12:49:00.000-07:00

I miss my old home, my old neighborhood and my old day care kids. Where I live now is MUCH better, the home is bigger, the traffic is better, it is closer to the freeway......but, I miss what I had.

The reason I miss it so much today, is "Swifferbutt" She came back today to spend the afternoon. I know her new day care center is a good one, but GOD, I miss her! I wish I could keep her! She has grown so much since May. I wish I could have all that I have right now. Only about six miles to the West.

My daughter also misses what she had. She went to the same school for seven years. The parents I provided childcare for were her teachers, so, she was spoiled. I was spoiled.

I have everything I could have ever wanted right now. I really do, but I just miss the people that became so important to me. I hope I feel like that over here someday.

Thirtynine minutes...

2005-10-03T08:02:00.000-07:00

Thirtynine minutes. It took my new teenager thirtynine minutes to take a shower on a Monday morning. WHY? What could possibly take that long? She will now spend the same mount of time on her makeup and walk to the bus stop with two waffles in her hand. She wanted Pilsbury toaster struedle but now only has time to shove down a waffle on the bus.

Sleepover....

2005-09-24T13:57:00.000-07:00

My incredibly spoiled daughter is 13 today. I agreed to a sleepover....every year, I say "Never again". Yet, every year I cave. BUT, this year, she invited a very nice girl....she VERY, VERY nice. Got it? I think this is a NICE kid....it's just that she's so damn loud! She walks into a room and sucks all the life and attention right out of it. She NEVER stops talking. The other three haven't had a chance to speak, because lifesucker has not allowed them.

I am hiding in here and avoiding them.

I wonder if her parents realize why their daughter doesn't get many invites?

Cell phone.

2005-09-23T08:44:00.000-07:00

I bought my daughter a cell phone. I bought it so I could contact her when I need to.

I am now forced to pick Miss Icantridethebusfrom school. She gets out at 3:30, I get off work about the same time, so other than the cost of gas and the general loss of my time, it's no big deal.

Yesterday Cootie's dad came late. He picked the kids up at 3:45 instead of his usual 3:30. So I was already in a bit of a panick. I had the garage door opened, so I could leave asap. Cootie's Dad said, your not going anywhere, you have a flat tire. (SHIT!)

So, I call little Miss Icantridethebus on her cell phone, and the damn phone rings in HER ROOM! So, this is now MY phone. AND, she sat in a hot park waiting for me for over an hour until my husband came home to give me his truck.

Guess who is riding the bus for the next two weeks until she learns to take care of her cell phone?

Weight watchers

2005-09-14T13:49:00.000-07:00

Cindy and I are joining weight watchers tomorrow. I may have bullied her into it, Idunno. But she better not back out on me. If I have to stand on that scale, she does too.

My goal is 13 lbs. If I am successful at this, I may shoot for another seven to round it out.

When I was young, I couldn't gain weight. Now, I can't lose it, what's up with that?

What a crappy week!

2005-09-10T17:27:00.000-07:00

I was SOOO enjoying my three day weekend. (Labor day) We went to the cabin and had three wonderful days of driving my new toy on some very scary ass trails. Jordyn's friend Alexa came along, and they had a blast. We spent one evening in Flagstaff having dinner with My step daughter. All in all it was a good weekend.....until....

Mondy Jordyn said "My head hurts, I think I'm sick". I had no thermometer, and only one Motrin, so I figured, she'll live til we get home. She just got sicker and sicker. She missed a full week of school, the teachers all tell me she is failing every class. (she can make up the work though) Byt Friday, I finally got smart and took her in. She has West Nile virus. Weird huh?

75

2005-08-28T20:14:00.000-07:00

While driving South on the Black Canyon freeway on a Sunday afternoon, towards Phoenix. You might come across us! I am the passenger, usually sitting calmly in my seat. My husband is the enraged driver, cussing at those of you who dare to drive the speed limit in the fast lane.

People! The limit is SEVENTY FIVE! That does not mean in the fast lane. That is strictly for the S*L*O*W lane. It is NEVER, EVER O.K to drive 75 mph, or below in the fast lane. EVER. The speed limit signs are merely a suggestion.

The bad neighbor Gods have made me happy!

2005-08-17T21:17:00.000-07:00

I moved recently (as you all know) But, what you don't know, is I moved away from the freakiest neighbors I have ever had. When I moved, I wanted to stop by and say "You people are nuts and your kid is a blithering idiot" But, I took the high road, and moved with a smile and a "Take care" (ya morons)

Well, they put their home up for sale a week after I moved out. The neighbor on the other side and one three houses away also had signs in their yards within a few weeks. This was in May....It is now august and Freaky neighbors are still trying to sell. Bwahahahaha!!!! ALL the other homes have new families already living in them. But there sits freaky neighbor all mad and glaring at passersby. I heard all this from an old neighbor who wishes they WOULD sell and leave.

Then the realtor that listed their house was just here and told me the reason they can't sell is because they keep offending the potential buyers. They won't let anybody open their closets. Apparently the wife cant stant the thought of anybody going through their closets and has posted notes on the closet doors saying "keep out, private property". She even beasted on a realtor for opening a closet anyway. What a nit!

I love it when the bad guys have to lie in the bed they made.

First day of school...

2005-08-15T09:56:00.000-07:00

Today is the first day of school. I have mixed feelings about this. My 12 year old started a new school in a new neighborhood. She wanted me to let her go to the old school, which is impossible.

I just have this horrible vision of her eating her lunch all alone. Sad image.

Out of guilt, I bought her $60 shoes, $45 proactive for a few stubborn zits, a $10 manicure, and a new ankle bracelet. Guilt is an expensive emotion.

Judson Nunnally

2005-08-08T09:16:00.000-07:00

In grade school I was mean to a boy named Judson Nunnally. Yep, that is the boy's name. Why did we make fun of Judson Nunnally? Besides the name? The name alone, is enough in fifth grade. But, That was not the only reason. His Grandmother would stand on the second floor balcony of the apartment building and shreak JUN-IOR! JUN-IOR! She had a way of making it sound like two separate words. Why did she not see us following him and screaming JUN-IOR in the same way? If she saw us, why didn't she do anything? Or at least shut up! The child was coming home, give him some time to get there.

I really have no idea why I tormented the kid. Judson was the only kid I was ever mean to who did not deserve it. (Charlie deserved it) I have looked at pictures of him. He wasn't a bad looking kid. Dark hair, dark eyes. Kinda cute in fact. He was a very nice kid. He never said a mean thing to anyone. In fact, he never said much at all. What could he do ir say? He was at the bottom of the food chain.

I have tried to find Judson.....but he is not signed up on classmates.com. No shock really, why would he want to hear from the people who made 12 years in education a living hell? I want to talk to him and tell him I am sorry. Tell him I stole his bike lock. I still have that bike lock.

More 1976....

2005-08-05T12:22:00.000-07:00

My Elementary school (Euclid)

My Junior high school.

I still hope Margret Graziano is ugly and miserable. That chick was evil.

Remember when cans looked like this?

And when this was a video game?

Walk with me...

2005-08-05T09:29:00.000-07:00

Through 1976.

I grew up in the Chicago area. In 1976, I was in sixth and seventh grade. Life was pretty easy for a kid in the 70s. We had it made! Nobody looked for us. We could be miles away and as long as we were home by dusk,

Kids were skinny then. I just figured out why. Bozo!

Yep Bozo's circus. This wonderful show came on during lunch time. I have no idea why, because we were all in school. So, in order to see THE GRAND PRIZE GAME, we had to run the half mile home, scarf down a PBJ and milk while watching Bozo and Cookie the clown. We had just enough time to watch the Grand Prize Game before we had to run back to school.

I spent all of my free time here. Randhurst Mall in Mount Prospect Illinois. I loved P.J's trick shop and I still have the lighter I bought there. We were the original Mall rats. I stole this photo from Keith
.

I am SO sad........

2005-07-27T22:05:00.000-07:00

When My daughter started dancing at the studio she is currently with, she was almost nine. It was a brand new studio. One of the first people I met there was a little girl named Tiffany. I met Tiffany because she was utterly helpless. At the age of seven, she still could not tie her shoes. Her hair was a mess, and she needed it brushed and pulled back.

I made a mental note to hate Tiffany's Mom when I met her. Well, I met her, and dangit, I liked her! Tiffany is just the sort of kid who is a day late and a dollar short.

Sandy (tiffany's mom) and I hit it off, and every year we work together backstage at the recitals. A LOT of work goes into those recitals. But, Sandy and I have fun. During the year, we drop the kids off at dance, and go to the gym together or out for tea.

I have been busy this year, so I stopped hanging out at the studio. I haven't been there, so I never really noticed that Tiffany wasn't there either. I had kinda forgotten about her.

I didn't sign up to help this year....but I went backstage to see how things were going. I saw Tiffany (She's 10 now) standing outside the door holding a bag...so I let her in....She looked more bedragled than usual...I said "Hey kiddo! Want some help?"

Her eyes filled with tears.....

She said..

"My Mom is dead...and I don't know how to get this costume on....I don't know what to do now"

I was shocked! How did I not know her Mom, my friend had died??? If I'd known, I would have helped.....I feel so sad. Sandy was the most awsome Mom!

Apparently she died suddenly of a brain tumor last month. Even she never knew she was sick.

I will miss Sandy. I will miss her more for that little girl. Tiffany needs her Mom.

How to annoy me....

2005-07-25T16:16:00.000-07:00

Run the dishwasher when it looks like THIS

BUT..the sink looks like THIS

Parents of Oceanside BEWARE!!!!!

2005-07-25T09:44:00.000-07:00

Every day....a group of aproximately 35 kids ranging in age from 8-12 would shlep down the Beach to spend part of the day. They belonged to the Oceanside YMCA day camp. Each day these kids dressed in bright yellow surf shirts would stop to set their belongings down in the same place. Right between the two signs with red flags. One sign said "NO SWIMMING" and the other about 50 ft away said "CAUTION RIPTIDE".

Each day the three high school/college age counselors in charge of these kids would send them swimming RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE SIGNS. HEL-LO?????? O.K, these kids are locals....I expect kids from age 8-12 to be able to take care of themselves....they just need a little supervision. But the three adultish people in charge sent them right to the part that is clearly marked DANGER??????

VACATION!!!

2005-07-15T09:32:00.000-07:00

I have waited exactly one full year for this day. My last day in Phoenix before heading off to the beach. I cannot wait! This time tomorrow, I will be in Yuma, eating lunch. I'm thinking maybe Subway! Everybody likes Subway.

This time on Sunday, I will be on the beach. Did I mention I cannot wait??????

Of course, I will be thinking of all of you. LOL NOT!!!!

"Oh, he would never tolerate that"....

2005-07-12T08:08:00.000-07:00

I was reading a post on a local board. The Mom is having trouble with her son taking the poop out of his diaper and smearing it everywhere....she wanted suggestions.

Other Mom's posted that this was a normal stage and would pass in time.

So the Mom says "Oh, good, I will just warn my family to watch where they sit"

UM..???? Scuse me? This may Not be the work of a psycopath...but it isn't exactly "normal". There are ways to stop poop smearing. But Parents don't want to engage in the struggle. Apparently it's easier to call it a stage and watch where we sit.

I have even made suggestions like "Use a nail brush to clean his nails" and the parent will say "Oh, he would never tolerate that!"

If you give your son a girl's name....

2005-07-11T11:57:00.000-07:00

The Day care lady

You should expect people to think he's a she. I mean Adrian? Seriously? O.K, perhaps you had no idea he would one day be the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. But SURELY you knew you planned to let his hair grow to the middle of his back. I actually heard him say "I'M A BOY!" five times. He's BEAUTIFUL! Long thick black hair (in a pony tail btw) Long thick curly lashes...and big brown eyes.

Fortunately, he acts just like a boy. In all fairness, he was wearing denim shorts, a Spiderman t-shirt and boys sandals. But I just thought she liked boys clothes.

I miss these guys....

2005-07-09T08:05:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know I can buy them on DVD....but it's not the same.

That is really annoying.

2005-07-07T07:26:00.000-07:00

Just because your child wakes you up early, does not mean I want you at my door 20 minutes before I open for business. Your cheery "Look who got us up early" will do nothing to make me feel better. Next time "Centeroftheuniverse" wakes up early......Enjoy her at home, then drop her off AFTER 7:00.

You have no idea how hard it is to get your shorts on while hopping down the hallway to grab the three big dogs before they tear the door down.

Bob and Woody

2005-07-06T07:08:00.000-07:00

Jacee from Childfun doctored this up for me. I really need to learn this stuff!

I canNOT be the only one who thinks this is funny...

2005-07-05T14:39:00.000-07:00

Two of my day care kids moved from one house on the far west side to a new, larger home on the far East side. They moved on Friday, but are still in the unpacking stage. Anybody who's ever moved knows how exhausting and stressful it is. If you don't remember being exhausted, you have either never moved....or blocked it from your memory.

Soo, on Saturday night, Dad says "What's for dinner?" (men can be so stupid) Mom says "I don't know asshole, where are you taking us?" <--her words, not mine

They go to the new Red Robin that opened a few weeks ago. There is a large red bird walking around the restaraunt, visiting the families as they eat. The red bird should be outside waving at passers by to alert them to the opening of the Red Robin, but it's 112 degrees out there, so, it's inside. Big sister likes the bird, but little sister is afraid of it. The girls are five and three.

Just after they ordered, little sister says "I gotta go potty" Big sister says "Me too". Mom says "You both go by yourselves...I'm too tired to take you". The girls think this is very cool! Big sister gets little sister on the toilet, and leaves the door opened and goes into the next stall.

Little sister is trying to adjust her three year old butt on the very large toilet....when the door swings open, and there before her stands the huge red bird!!!! Little sister loses her grip on the large toilet, and falls in. The toilet is an automatic flusher, so not seeing her little body inside the big toilet, it starts to flush!!!! Poor little sister. She's screaming....being flushed, and now the giant red bird is grabbing her with it's yellow felt wings!!! EVERYBODY within a half mile hears little sister screaming! Dad (who is a very large guy) busts through the women's door and sees....a large red bird, holding his wet and hysterical three year old at wings length.

Now, I know, she will need therapy.....but is this not funny?????

Four days in the cool pines....

2005-07-04T16:13:00.000-07:00

I did NOT want to come home. It is 114 flippin degrees in the Phoenix. But it was 80 degrees in Pinewood. We had a BLAST! Well, except for the horrible big dog vs little dog incident.

THE INCIDENT

Hubby and I take the dogs for a walk through the forest every morning. It's very early, and surely nobody else is walking their dogs at this time of day...right? Soooo, when Charlie (90 lb lab) got loose, we figured it was no big deal. So we let the Amber (60 lb lab) run loose too. A good run might be what they need to calm themselves down.

ONLY, we were not the only ones walking our dogs through the forest. Charlie and Amber took off, over a hill. We lost sight of the little shits. After a few minutes we heard screaming, shreaking, and dogs fighting. CRAP! Soooo, we take off towards the sound of the chaos. The screaming never stops, but the dog sounds do stop. soon a tiny little white dog covered in dirt runs past me. I tried to grab her. But she shot by me. Poor thing was terrified. Apparently our two HUGE oaf dogs had attacked and rolled this poor miniture thing for about two minutes before she managed to make her getaway. but in the confusion, she just kept running and running. This dog was hauling ass! I felt awful...I wanted to help find the little thing, but I also wanted to hide. The owners were MAD...I know they called the cops.

We wont be walking them in the forest for a loooong time. And, when we do, I think they will need to wear a disguise.

Woody!

2005-06-30T18:05:00.000-07:00

Woody is visiting the old neighborhood elementary school.

People watching....

2005-06-30T18:02:00.000-07:00

This is my new Gnomad. Woody. I stole this idea from Chaos girl. Chaos girl has way more time for these things than I do. BUT, I figured...What the heck. How can a gnome hold me up? Make me look stupid, that's a different story.

Here is Woody at the Water Park.

Smoke gets in your eyes

2005-06-29T08:28:00.000-07:00

This mountain is less than two blocks away. Normally you can see every rock and cactus on it. But the fires burning around the state have created so much smoke, it's made it's way into the valley. It smells wonderful....but only when you imagine a campfire.

Cell phone allergy....I'm not kidding....

2005-06-27T20:23:00.000-07:00

I spent the weekend with my Mother in law. I shoulda known something was up. My Husband seemed way too eager to send the two of us off to the cabin together...alone. He neglected to tell me that she was allergic to Cell phones... And Remote controls....And televisions larger than 19 inches. (Seriously) Only, too bad for us, cuz the TV in that little cabin is a 36 incher. So, I read a lot of books.

I did not find out about the cell phone allergy until I had made two phone calls with her in the van....I'm sure she would have gotten out of the van, except we were driving over 80 miles an hour down I-17. So, she had "An Electronic device Headache" for the whole evening. I was out of Tylenol...I had Motrin! But you guessed it, she's allergic to Motrin. So, she did what all 80 year old women who have an electronic headache would do...she performed accupressure on herself. Watching an 80 year old woman doing accupressure on herself, is amusing and disturbing at the same time.

I wanted to point the remote control at her and push mute.

testing my photo posting ability.

2005-06-27T20:03:00.000-07:00

This SHOULD be a picture of myself and the monsters in California. Yes, we are playing Poker!!

How do I choose???

2005-06-15T08:40:00.000-07:00

I have one infant spot, but three potentials.

Infant #1. Gay dad, who received his daughter through surrogate. I saw this kid's pictures, and she is CUTE! I'm talking CUTE! As in daycare mascot cute! I like Dad we haven't met yet, but through emails I like the man....great hours, great attitude. Couldn't get better, BUT, he hasn't followed through with visiting me in a timely manner. I think he assumes the opening will be availble all summer.

Infant #2. Mom and I did not hit it off at all. She's a nervous Mother, and after 20 years of doing this job, I see no reason for the worry. She even asked me how I would discipline her infant daughter? WTF? I explained how I discipline toddlers and older....but she wanted to know how I would handle it when I got mad at her INFANT? Um??? I ebay the infants when they piss me off! Personally, I'd like to know what this child can possibly do that will make me mad?

Infant #3. Also a girl, she's a tiny one. I will meet her today. I like the Mom on the phone, I wish it was full time, but it will be three days a week. This may be better..who knows. This little one has a cleft pallat...which I don't know anything about. I'm leaning towards this one because I like the Mom, and her follow through is more serious. But we shall see.

Attachment parenting.

2005-06-10T08:14:00.000-07:00

I got a call from a potential client. I am desperate for clients this summer. But this would have to be the last child on earth before I would take her.

Mom calls and asks about openings....

me:"Yes, I have opening, what are you looking for?"
mom: "I have a five week old daughter, we practice attachment parenting, do you have a problem with attachment parentling?"
me: "Well, only in my day care. Attachment parenting and child care usually don't go together"
(FYI attachment parenting is when the parent holds the child NON STOP and even sleeps with the infant)
mom: "well, I would provide a sling and an infant backpack"
me: nonetheless, when I have OTHER children, I cannot be carrying a child around all day, your daughter would be left in a bouncy seat and eventually in a saucer for quite a bit of the day...she would be socializing with other children..some might even be babies who also need my attention."
mom: "Well, I guess this wouldn't be the best situation for centeroftheuniverse"
me: "Perhaps you should consider a job in the home where you can hold her all day...I don't think most day care situations would work well for you"

This dog knows how to push my buttons..

2005-06-10T08:09:00.000-07:00

I had the puppy spayed on Wed. It is now Friday, and apparently she is feeling back to normal. She wants to go play with the big yellow lab in the next room. I know this is not a good idea....they play very rough. But, she is whining, and whining at the door to go play with her friend. This dog can WHINE! She is a pro. In fact, it's been very succesful for her this far, as I always open whatever door she wants open, just so she will LEAVE! SO, as I sit here, I am wondering.....should I yell at her or just open the door and let her take her chances?

Monster Baby walks!

2005-05-06T12:58:00.000-07:00

My last little one started walking this week....and he looks like Frankenstein. Not only does he look like Frankenstien, he Grunts and yells the whole time. I seriously hope someone is taping these first steps.

It's also a good thing he's so flippin cute! Because with his new mobility, comes the advantage of height......he can reach nearly anything that was previously out of reach. The advantage to me, is, he loves his new skill and spends less time tormenting the other kids. So, it's a win/win situation.

Moving..part two (or is this three?)

2005-05-04T10:07:00.000-07:00

Hubby broke the garage door. This is an inconvenient time for the garage door to be broken. It's not his fault, it's the previous owners fault...but nonetheless, the door is broken.

I have yet a SECOND set of movers move the day care stuff to my house. This should be easy...not much, a few boxes, large toys and it's done. No biggie...right? Bahaha! I forgot, furniture movers are furniture movers for a reason....they do not have the intelligence to do anything that would require thought. So, they filled their truck with TRASH....not just any trash..but the trash that had a sign on it that said "TRASH.....Hunky yard guy will haul to dump on Thursday" (O.K, it didn't say hunky) This wasn't just a small amount of trash..it was A LOT of trash. I got a call saying they have to make two trips. I was confused, but thought, they were trying to rip me off, it was just a few toys and boxes.

They arrive with the TRASH. You idiots, you even brought the sign! See if I ever hire Larry Moe and curly again.

Tile...

2005-05-04T09:51:00.000-07:00

I now live in 3400 feet of tile & wood floors. Do you have any idea how loud 3400 feet of tile and wood floors can be? The sound of a toddler screaming "NOOO! MINE!!" echos for three days. I went to Sam's club to buy colorful foam interlocking squares to pad the playroom. It's very colorful in here. The padding seems to help with the noise.

The other issue with tile.....and I haven't decided if this is good or bad yet. Dog hair. The amount of swiffers I go through each day to catch all the dog hair is mind numbing. I know the floors are clean though. Carpet never really gets clean, so this is good...right?

I'm trying to convince myself that I like tile.

A new apreciation for working Moms...

2005-04-07T13:06:00.000-07:00

For the remainder of the month, I am a work outside the home Mom. Complete with 20 minute commute. Commuting sucks! I wake up at 5:30 (earlier if the dogs decide I should) I stumble to the closet to see if I have any clean clothes. I dress, try to plan lunch for moody and I, pack some stuff, trick the dogs into going outside, and off we go. I MUST be here by 7:00 a.m or I cause parents to be late to work.

At the end of the day, I get off work at 5:00-ish....stop at the store with moody in tow, and pick up something for dinner. By the time I get home, make dinner, take a shower it's bed time. I barely get to see Moody, much less check her homework. I'm so tired all day. I can't even find my Makeup! I am not happy with this new schedule...although I love my new house. I just wish I could spend time in it.

I take back every bad thing I have ever said about work outside the home Moms!

The Day care lady

2005-03-29T13:05:00.000-07:00

The Day care lady

Moving day: part two

The parents knew I had movers coming at 7:00 a.m. I decided to go ahead and work today anyway. These are good kids, they self amuse very well, and the movers don't need me giving direction.

BUT, when did the parents think I was going to serve breakfast?? Almost all of the parents came in and said "I didn't have time to give him/her breakfast". Um...but, *I* have time to feed them breakfast? These kids always eat breakfast at home....rarely will more than one child come over needing a breakfast. But TODAY??? Comeon! Really, parents think first.....I had three large men with moving dollys and packing tape in my house...when was I going to whip up breakfast???? AND, I don't even have a fridge...or a stove at the moment. Surely, being the miraculous person that I am, I could come up with pancakes or eggs...right?

Parents!!! If your wonderful and all powerful day care provider tells you the movers will be here at 7:00 a.m the next morning, feed your kids a pop tart in the car at least!

Moving day. part one.

2005-03-29T12:48:00.000-07:00

Finally, the day has arrived. Movng day. But, that does not mean this is over.....no, I still have the day care in the house. The house is still full of junk that I will be moving to the new house over the next month. I also have to put this house up for sale. So, I figure it will be at least two months before it's all settled.

Can you be too old for easter eggs?

2005-03-24T16:53:00.000-07:00

I think 41 is the perfect age to color Easter eggs. I boiled three dozen eggs...divided them evenly among the kids...then decided to keep a few.........for me! Paas gyped us the blue dye, so I had to improvise. Cake decorating colors work very well! We have the best blue eggs in the valley.

Tomorrow, I am hiding them so the kids can have an egg hunt with three dozen eggs. This should be fun! I love Easter!

Five dogs is four too many...

2005-03-23T15:59:00.000-07:00

I recently aquired three very large dogs. Add this to the two that I already had....that is 20 legs and more piles of poop than I could have imagined.

This morning, hubby got up, took all five dogs downstairs (yes, they share our room) and fed them, or whatever he does with five dogs at the crack of dawn. Shortly after 5:00 a.m, I was startled awake by a loud dog fight. I am not used to dog fights....my dogs are cute little sweet dogs. His dogs are big, loud gassy dogs. I sprung up to go stop the fight.....surely my sweet cute dogs were being mauled. My littlest one (Devil Dog) met me at the door running for her cute little life. My old Dog was sauntering up as fast as he could on his 12 year old legs. Devil Dog was under the bed before I could get into the hallway.

I am never going to get enough sleep with these dogs, am I? Hubby will soooooooo be making this up to me tonight!

Mental note

2005-03-21T14:35:00.000-07:00

The Day care lady

"Dust more often".

I'm packing...I am ashamed at how much dust my crap has aquired.

lesse if this works

2005-03-21T10:44:00.000-07:00

O.K, it didn't work. I also cannot remove it. Soooo, I guess I need to fill this space with something........anything.

DevelDog graduated puppy class last night. Despite the head injury she sustained while trying to go through the Doggy door with a gaint lab. She cried too! She's much better this morning. AND has a diploma!

Swiffer Butt...

2005-03-20T20:40:00.000-07:00

Swiffer Butt is a 16 month old day care girl, who, until this weekend could not walk. In fact, she doesn't crawl...she scoots on one butt cheek. She's fast too! I have been threatening to tape a swiffer to her butt for months now.

Her mom called to tell me, that while I was on my honeymoon, my little pill decided to walk. I must confess, I feel a bit betrayed . At least she could have TRIED to walk in my presence...but, nooooo, wait til I have a four day weekend.

Well...this is it.

2005-03-16T15:46:00.000-07:00

The Day care lady

My last day as a single woman. I am getting married tomorrow. In Laughlin no less!

This, of course means...No more premarital sex. EVER! Is sex still good after you are married?

How'm I gonna do this?

2005-03-11T08:44:00.000-07:00

The Day care lady
I have a tax appointment tonight...at 7:00. I am also hosting a very large garage sale tomorrow morning, for which I have not prepared. Oh, AND I need to FINISH my taxes, before the tax appointment. Which, as I mentioned is at 7:00..P.M tonight.

Spoiledpreteen has apparently been invited to a Birthday party this weekend. She told me of this today. We NOW have to buy a gift. Tonight. Sooooo We will be shopping for this gift, somewhere between my tax appointment and me cleaning the garage in the dark.

I still need to buy shoes for the wedding, get my nails done, and I'd like to get my eyebrows waxed. This weekend. What are my chances of getting this all done before Saturday night??? Not so good huh?

The Day care lady

2005-03-10T13:10:00.000-07:00

The Day care lady

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

Signing loan papers

2005-03-08T22:03:00.000-07:00

There is nothing, on this earth, more boring than signing loan documents. And, to think, an entire forest gave it's life, so I would have a ream of paper to initial.

Underpants wars

2005-03-08T13:44:00.000-07:00

Yes..in the life of a four year old....Underpants are very important. Partially because they are fairly new to the average preschooler, but also because they are so darn cool! In the 1960's Underwear was plain...oh maybe you had the day of the week on them...but nothing like what they have today. I mean they have SHREK underpants!

Every morning, when the appropriate amount of children have gathered at my house, they all stand in a small circle and show their underpants and then compliment each other on their choice for the day. Apparently, some are cooler than others...for instance, Shrek is better than princess panties...but Dora is better than Shrek. Monster trucks are a big hit, as well as Spiderman.

So, when your three year old refuses to wear his Blues Clues Underpants, understand that he is drivin by social pressure.

It's a cruel world.

Brave? Or just stupid?

2005-03-07T10:51:00.000-07:00

I am sure I have reached my stress tolerance limit. In Physchology you learn that some of the most stressfull events in life are...Death of a loved one, Divorce, Marriage, Selling a home, Buying a home, moving to a new area, having a child....there are more.

I am currently Getting married, selling two homes, buying one home, and relocating to a new area in ONE MONTH! I am also suffering from SERIOUS PMS. Therefore, I deserve some kind of compensation..or a gift at least.

My fiance and I were looking at our new home. The current owners are still there, and are the absolute pigs of the universe. This house is so filthy, there is litterally stuff growing in the toilets. The Stove will never be the same, the tile floors are disgusting. They should not be allowed to own a home.

Anyway, so I suggest to my handsome husband to be..."Maybe we could push the movers back one day, so we can have professional cleaners come in and try to clean this place" He says...

(Mind you, I told him about the PMS and cramps, so he was warned)

he says, in a very condescending voice btw.."I am going to be busy enough with everything I have to do, I'm taking a week off to do the fence, and the dog door, and wait for the cable guy. The cleaning people can be here with the movers". Am I wrong, or does that sound stupid?...How can the movers and the cleaning people work side by side???

So, as I am getting more and more pissed, I realize, I am not willing to die on this hill, I will feel better in aproximately three to five days. SO I say..."I'm going home..You do what you want, but I will not sleep here til it's clean"

Sunday, he calls me and as if this has never come up, and it was HIS IDEA, he says "I think I will push the movers back one day so we can get the house clean".

Is this married life?

AT&T wireless has stolen my money!

2005-03-02T14:21:00.000-07:00

Yes, I have been ripped off! Screwed! I am SOOOO not happy about this. I had absolutley NO IDEA that getting a wireless plan is like buying a car. The not only stole my money, they just stole an hour of my life fighting on the phone. The guy I spoke to just now is NOT ON MY CHRISTMAS list! I hope he spends eternity guarding the gates of hell!

Three moves is as good as a house fire.

2005-02-27T20:59:00.001-07:00

I am trying to buy a house...and sell a house. If I sell before I buy, I may be homeless..but If I buy before I sell, I may have two homes.....hmmm. Neither is good.

That is not my only problem. I also have to pack AND keep a clean house! Bahaha! A clean house??? Are they serious?

I have lived here for seven years. I had no idea I owned so much JUNK...Most of the junk is really Spoiledpreteen's junk. But *I* have to deal with it. My old neighbor once said "Three moves is as good as a house fire" And that must be true, because I have eliminated at least a third of the junk I had in here. But for some strange reason, I bought new bedding for Spoiledpreteen tonight. I have no idea what came over me! I am trying to get RID of my things..not accumulate new things! It just feels so good to shop!

I am going to try and get in touch with my organized side.

Pet Peeve #2

2005-02-27T20:59:00.000-07:00

Women wearing big clunky sandals. It sounds like a horse walking through Target. It looks sloppy, and lazy. "GEEZ! PICK UP YOUR FEET!"

HEY! I CAN retain information!

2005-02-25T12:46:00.000-07:00

I was sure I was doomed to a lifetime of blank stares when my daughter asked for help with her homework. Basically, as far as math goes, she lost me in third grade. But today!!! I was proud to correctly answer a question! And I owe it all to "Schoolhouse rock" Remember Schoolhouse rock?" If not, you are too young...go away.

Anyway, she asked me about the preamble (we the people) OOH OOH! I KNOW THAT!! I even remember the tune!

"We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquillity, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America."

I can't wait til she asks me how a bill becomes a law.

These kids are smart!

2005-02-24T12:06:00.000-07:00

They are smart little kids! I spend a lot of time working with them....I am not one of those "Baby Genius", Flash card toting kind of providers...we just learn when it comes up. But..as I type this, my brilliant little two and three year olds are gnawing their twisted pretzles into the shapes of letters and forming their names.

ELMO....

2005-02-24T08:34:00.000-07:00

Rocking Elmo...he sings, he dances...over and over and over, all day. Maybe at naptime Elmo will find his furry little self in the hall closet.

PET PEEVE #1

2005-02-23T12:20:00.000-07:00

Pet Peeve # 1. SIPPY CUPS

Why must parents bring their pre-school age child with a sippy cup in the morning? Why also must they forget that same sippy cup, then ask ME where it is three weeks later? I know of NO documented cases where a child perished on the ride to day care from the lack of a sippy cup.

About me

2005-02-23T09:15:00.000-07:00

I am Kim...I live in the desert Southwest, where it is usually hot and dry. As of February 2005, it is not hot, nor dry. It is cold and wet. I have learned from this drought ending, record setting rain....that I do not belong in the Pacific Northwest. I think I'm growing mold on my ass.

I have an in home childcare. People in the neighborhood know me as the "Crazy wagon lady". Years ago, men would ask "Are they all yours?" (Women know better than to ask this) But now that I am in my early 40s, it's fairly obvious they can't all be mine. I just DARE them to ask "Are they your grandkids?"